Conflict and repair · Two perspectives
When you disagree, do you both feel respected?
Reflect on conflict in your relationship with eight free questions about disagreements, taking a pause, and reconnecting after an argument.
Explore the 8 free questions ↓One relationship, two experiences
You can remember the same disagreement differently: one of you may focus on the issue, while the other remembers the tone or how it ended. Look at how disagreements unfold and whether both people get a chance to return to the conversation. You do not need to settle every issue in one sitting.
8 questions: Conflict and repair
Think about the last few weeks. Answer these prompts separately, then compare your answers. Use a specific example where you can, and ask what made an experience feel different for your partner. These conversation questions are free to use here, with no sign-up.
What happens at the start of a disagreement between us?
Which words or habits make it harder to stay open?
Do you feel you can disagree with me respectfully?
How can we ask for a pause without leaving the other person guessing?
What helps us return to a conversation after cooling down?
What makes an apology feel meaningful to you?
Which recurring issue still feels unfinished?
How do you know we have reconnected after an argument?
Turn one answer into a conversation
Choose a manageable disagreement and agree on how to pause if either person feels overwhelmed. Include a time to return, and describe what a useful repair would look like to each of you.
Find out how differently you and your partner experience it.
Go further with the free Pair Perspective couples assessment. Answer separately across all 14 relationship topics, then compare your perspectives and find a place to begin talking.
See an example of your resultsA reflection tool for conversation, not a diagnosis or a relationship verdict.